No please stop calling me Sweatlee. My actual name is Suet Li, 18, unemployed, college dropout.
Loves to eat. Plays basketball. Hates to drive. That's basically all you need to know about me.
It was about 3.45 p.m and I'd just come back from college. I had two papers today, economics and chemistry. It was a tiring day cause I only slept for less than 3 hours the night before, burning the midnight oil. When I got home, no one was in as usual. I plopped myself onto the sofa and turned on the tv. Nope nothing nice. I was feeling hot, so I took off my jeans and tshirt. I like to walk around half-naked sometimes when no one is home.
The doorbell rang two minutes later and a timid voice called out hello. I ignored it cause it sounded like another salesgirl. Maybe someone asking for donation again. I've been spending a ridiculously huge sum on charity these days (and they might be scams) so I don't bother answering the door. Hello, she called again, louder this time.
I ran into the room to get dressed and lazily walked out to the door. Standing outside was a girl holding a bouquet of flowers, nah nothing new.
WAIT. A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS??? ALL ROSES?! EIGHT RED ROSES AND FOUR WHITE ROSES? TWELVE IN TOTAL?!?!
That girl was grinning sneakily at me by now, calling out hello are you okay m'am.
NO I'M MORE THAN OKAY. I'M...I'M.. *faints
m'am wake up m'am. please sign this first.
I asked who is this from and she said don't know m'am., there's a card inside.
I signed it shakily and took the flowers. She said bye and walked away while still grinning at me. Thank you very much, I said.
Thank you very much indeed.
I checked again to be sure that it was sent to me, not my sister or brother or aunty or grandfather. Yeap, Liew Suet Li it says.
AWWW BEAR! How did you do it! Did you order it before you went away? The card was in your writing! It couldn't have been someone else! And it says Happy Two Years Anniversary! Who could've known the meaning of the four white flowers then!
AWWWWWWWW I love you.
it's not just about receiving the flowers, since you did give me flowers on our monthly anniversaries anyway, but it's about you being thoughtful enough to pre-order the flowers and had them sent over on 12/12. So this is the emo thing you don't wanna tell me about! although I threatened you to. (you STILL have to write an emo post i don't care)
I wanted to write a super geli goosebumps-inducing emo post today but seeing what you did for me, my super geli goosebumps-inducing emo post will not stand a chance. you win me hands down babe. so therefore the conclusion is I don't have to write anymore. hoho
baby come home quick okay. another THREE more days and we'll be whole once again. as corny as it may sound, it does make me feel horny. wtf wtf
YOU KNOW WHAT?? MY DAD (HE WORKS IN DUBAI) CAME BACK AND BOUGHT A SPANKIN' NEW CAMERA! AM I A SUPER LUCKY GIRL OR WHAT!! WOOT WOOT WOOT!!!
COME I SHOW YOU.
oh i didn't take any pictures with the camera, i mean like duh of course take pics of myself lah! =D
he bought the latest Lumix omgbbq which is damn damn damn freaking nice ok got pink/blue/black colour also but he chose the boring ol' silver. bah. =D
oh and he didn't give me the new Lumix but gave me his Nikon instead (which is only 5 months old anyway!!1) =D
I feel so blessed. and thankful amen. and most of all i feel so..camwhoric giler giler. So without further ado, here I present you..the camera!
Err..wait.
okay I do NOT have any picture of the camera T__T all pictures of myself.. erm myself.. wait another 20 more of myself.
Ah, I'm glad the camwhore in me is back.
Yesterday, I drove to college and back and I was stuck in the jam for some time. I have no idea why or how but I found out that I 'accidentally' brought the camera out for erm, in case of emergencies.
Wah poser sial with shades somemore but because I just regain my wholly-deserved camwhore status, I think I'll give myself the liberty to ber-poser all I want! Hmmp.
Look at me I'm a puffer fish wtf (eh what is puffer fish)
Mummy see I'm driving while camwhoring! Hoho please do it at home nolah I where got so pro, was still stuck in jam.
oh finally! a 3/4 picture of my camera. and me heh.
ish got this driver next to me damn annoying one. I was heheh applying makeup and camwhoring hehehe in the jam and he just kept staring and staring. Oi look at the road la stare so much if you're handsome you can stare all you want lah but muka macam cibai only.
Ehem so, the cars started moving and he was still staring knn until kena honked by other cars. padan muka. You should see the way he senyum kambing at me. Never see people camwhore before meh! And goddammit please take out your ugly super black shiny shades la ok. you know that type that got rainbow colours one when reflected. aiyah dunno how to explain lah but super fugly kao kao.
Right, back to pictures of, surprise surprise, myself again.
Wah so artistic dunno who take one leh. This, ladies and gents, is a picture of myself behind the wheel looking extremely bored with an old lady looking at me in the background. oh wait, she wasn't looking at me. *disappointed
Hey let me ask you this! How many wheels does a car has?
5! plus the steering wheel! so smart.
This is a picture of myself pretending to be excited because I'm stuck in yet another jam.
And this is a picture of myself pointing at the door.
This is a helmet on the road. I wonder what happened..
This is me trying to look funny.
This is me in the salon waiting for Esther. (with a guy who mysteriously appeared from thin air and who actually knew I was taking a picture but pretended to look as if he didn't)
A picture of me with yellow teeth, the mysterious guy and half of a roasted to perfection Jessica.
Oklah that's all you can wake up from your deep slumber now.
Fuh, I'm happy to be back =)
Please download that thing to contribute to my 'buy new clothes' fund. kthxbye.
--
And to my beloved prude reaching, happy 20th birthday! I wanted to be as bad as Aud and put your makeupless pictures but guess why I didn't? Cause I'm damn kind.
So to the girl who is proud to have single eyelids and has the loveliest curls ever, you are getting old. hoho. (and also the girl who has the prettiest clothes. why i keep puji-ing u! also the girl who..who..shit I can't think of any flaws)
and I really wanna post that pic of you smiling with one tooth out hahahahah but nevermindlah I'm far too kind wtf.
I hereby would like to apologize to Prudence Pang Tze Ching for rejecting her kind invite to go out for a drink at Starbucks because I was being a pig although I haven't met her in an awefully, insanely long time.
Signed,
Suet the pig
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HUHU why lah why. It's her bday somemore why am I like this you tell me. Why everyone likes to ask me out in the EVENING. Isn't it a universal fact that evenings are napping time?
And nothing, I repeat, NOTHING can ever pry me away from my beautiful sleep. except, maybe..the second love of my life..food. OMG the first love of my life also cannot pry me away from sleep.
Ya allah why am I such a pig!
You know right, it's really hard for me to wake up in the morning one. BUT if I know/smell/is told that there'll be nice delicous food waiting for me, I can surely wake up really fast! This theory has been tested and proven. yeap, clinically correct wtf.
Oh yeah, the phone convo:
Tze: Hello? Groggy Suet: err yeah? who's this? Tze: tze ching here. suet: who's this?! tze: tze ching here! suet: i know you are reaching lah, who's this??
haha wtf damn blur. Dunno whether I did say the last line out loud or not but that was what I was thinking.
Anyway that's all for this short update. Aud said i should rename my blog Ya Allah since that phrase is so funny. (i stole that from baz) BUT I can't do it cause this blog is supposed to be clean. Purified. Free from all racism, religionism, and sexism (although I'm a feminist at times).
So I think babi betul suits me more. Babi means pig in Malay omg my malay is damn good i got A1 ok wtf.
My baby is coming home in about 10 days!!!!!!!!!!!111111
And we're turning two in about 6 daysssss!!!!!!!!11
And I'm testing another theory. I wanna see what will my exam results be if I don't study hoho.
Advertisement Celcom is giving away free phones when you register your Xpax Prepaid! Download the Tower X Widget to see if you might be one of the winners. (you don't have to be a Celcom user to download this cool calendar)
although I don't celebrate Christmas but what the heck..
(getting admitted to a US college, preferably Mount Holyoke)
And thank you for giving me that 47 kg, although I did all the work anyway >=(
Hmmp show me your magical power lah Santa. If not I'm going to burn down all the christmas trees I see! and rip open other people's christmas presents! and crash every single christmas party there is and AND gobble down all the food!
wuuu, so scary hor me. wtf. wuuu~
wtf wtf
So anyway, come everyone! get going and do your own Xmas list! post your pics in your blog or whatever but must tell me ok! I want to see what you people want and laugh at you for never going to get any of it muahaha.
eh and why is Christmas Xmas? why is christ an X? I thought he was crucified at a cross, t? why not tmas? Huh?? HUH??!
too much intellectual discussion for one day, better take a long nap now.
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Actually I'm a very simple person with only two main principles in life.
1. never finish your food 2. never bathe more than twice a day
For the past few months, I've been a bad girl and have been finishing my food lickety clean! And yesterday, I almost bathed three times ok! fuh something is very wrong.
Everytime when my exams are somewhere around the corner, I will surely find something to waste time on so this time is no exception. I wanted to see how I look like with brown eyes, so I came up with this ingenious idea of cutting someone else's eyes and paste in on mine with Paint.
Oklah not too bad. My eyes look so watery like wanna cry only.
Then, I thought..hmm why stop here! Let's try blue!
OMG like Buffy the vampire slayer 0_o
This isn't an easy task. I have to slowly trace out the pair of eyes I want and then paste it on mine. So then I finally came up with this amazing-est idea! Why don't I google for any software that can change eye colours! WAh I'm so smart. *pat pat
RED! and purple for Jess. you squint until so small cannot see also.
Olive for me, and grey for her. And that thingy down there is some disclaimer stating that I'm using an unregistered copy blabla not illegal ok.
I see that same picture until wanna vomit.
Grey for this guy whose hair covers half of his face anyway. <3 baby 2 more weeks omg omg *hyperventilates
Blue for the classy girl, pink purplish for the ah lian and green for the siao chabor.
Nah look like rabbit edi see you still like pink or not, Aud! Eh tze, blue looks good no? As for me, ehem green grey red yellow what colour also nice lah hoho.
Jo! striking blue! nice? mine is dunno what capalang colour.
Clem! Brown for you. and purple for me!
Ding dong, green for you! Hahaha nice or not! Mine is brown, not so obvious.
Can match the colour of your eyes with your clothes too!
Nah last one, blue karer. I know i look hahahoho la don't laugh.
And being the kind person that I am, I almost volunteered to edit pictures for anyone who wants me to. BUT! my exams are coming so just google for that ok? Or you want me to fail =(
And I super hate Chemistry wanna drop that damn subject as soon as possible lah. Anyone willing to tutor me? I can catch up really fast but just not in the mood to study Chem. Tutor must be male, aged 18-21, good-looking, smart obviously, and having an American accent earns some brownie points. Yaya i know, barry ooi faster come back and tutor me.
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