|
|
 |
Public apologyI hereby would like to apologize to Prudence Pang Tze Ching for rejecting her kind invite to go out for a drink at Starbucks because I was being a pig although I haven't met her in an awefully, insanely long time.
Signed,
Suet the pig
--
HUHU why lah why. It's her bday somemore why am I like this you tell me. Why everyone likes to ask me out in the EVENING. Isn't it a universal fact that evenings are napping time?
And nothing, I repeat, NOTHING can ever pry me away from my beautiful sleep. except, maybe..the second love of my life..food.
OMG the first love of my life also cannot pry me away from sleep.
Ya allah why am I such a pig!
You know right, it's really hard for me to wake up in the morning one. BUT if I know/smell/is told that there'll be nice delicous food waiting for me, I can surely wake up really fast!
This theory has been tested and proven. yeap, clinically correct wtf.
Oh yeah, the phone convo:
Tze: Hello?
Groggy Suet: err yeah? who's this?
Tze: tze ching here.
suet: who's this?!
tze: tze ching here!
suet: i know you are reaching lah, who's this??
haha wtf damn blur. Dunno whether I did say the last line out loud or not but that was what I was thinking.
Anyway that's all for this short update. Aud said i should rename my blog Ya Allah since that phrase is so funny. (i stole that from baz) BUT I can't do it cause this blog is supposed to be clean. Purified. Free from all racism, religionism, and sexism (although I'm a feminist at times).
So I think babi betul suits me more. Babi means pig in Malay omg my malay is damn good i got A1 ok wtf.
My baby is coming home in about 10 days!!!!!!!!!!!111111
And we're turning two in about 6 daysssss!!!!!!!!11
And I'm testing another theory. I wanna see what will my exam results be if I don't study hoho.
Advertisement
Celcom is giving away free phones when you register your Xpax Prepaid! Download the Tower X Widget to see if you might be one of the winners. (you don't have to be a Celcom user to download this cool calendar)
Posted at 9:37:35 pm by expectation
Permalink
although I don't celebrate Christmas but what the heck..
(getting admitted to a US college, preferably Mount Holyoke)
  And thank you for giving me that 47 kg, although I did all the work anyway >=(
Hmmp show me your magical power lah Santa. If not I'm going to burn down all the christmas trees I see! and rip open other people's christmas presents! and crash every single christmas party there is and AND gobble down all the food!
wuuu, so scary hor me. wtf. wuuu~
wtf wtf
So anyway, come everyone! get going and do your own Xmas list! post your pics in your blog or whatever but must tell me ok! I want to see what you people want and laugh at you for never going to get any of it muahaha.
eh and why is Christmas Xmas? why is christ an X? I thought he was crucified at a cross, t? why not tmas? Huh?? HUH??!
too much intellectual discussion for one day, better take a long nap now.
--
Actually I'm a very simple person with only two main principles in life.
1. never finish your food
2. never bathe more than twice a day
For the past few months, I've been a bad girl and have been finishing my food lickety clean! And yesterday, I almost bathed three times ok! fuh something is very wrong.
Posted at 1:56:36 pm by expectation
Permalink
Hello.
Everytime when my exams are somewhere around the corner, I will surely find something to waste time on so this time is no exception.
I wanted to see how I look like with brown eyes, so I came up with this ingenious idea of cutting someone else's eyes and paste in on mine with Paint.
Oklah not too bad. My eyes look so watery like wanna cry only.
Then, I thought..hmm why stop here! Let's try blue!
OMG like Buffy the vampire slayer 0_o
This isn't an easy task. I have to slowly trace out the pair of eyes I want and then paste it on mine. So then I finally came up with this amazing-est idea! Why don't I google for any software that can change eye colours! WAh I'm so smart. *pat pat
RED! and purple for Jess. you squint until so small cannot see also.
Olive for me, and grey for her. And that thingy down there is some disclaimer stating that I'm using an unregistered copy blabla not illegal ok.
I see that same picture until wanna vomit.
Grey for this guy whose hair covers half of his face anyway. <3 baby 2 more weeks omg omg *hyperventilates
Blue for the classy girl, pink purplish for the ah lian and green for the siao chabor.
Nah look like rabbit edi see you still like pink or not, Aud! Eh tze, blue looks good no? As for me, ehem green grey red yellow what colour also nice lah hoho.
Jo! striking blue! nice? mine is dunno what capalang colour.
Clem! Brown for you. and purple for me!
Ding dong, green for you! Hahaha nice or not! Mine is brown, not so obvious.
Can match the colour of your eyes with your clothes too!
Nah last one, blue karer. I know i look hahahoho la don't laugh.
And being the kind person that I am, I almost volunteered to edit pictures for anyone who wants me to. BUT! my exams are coming so just google for that ok? Or you want me to fail =(
And I super hate Chemistry wanna drop that damn subject as soon as possible lah. Anyone willing to tutor me? I can catch up really fast but just not in the mood to study Chem. Tutor must be male, aged 18-21, good-looking, smart obviously, and having an American accent earns some brownie points.
Yaya i know, barry ooi faster come back and tutor me.
Posted at 1:28:05 am by expectation
Permalink
my (last) day in the pool
Remind me why I stopped swimming a year ago please.
Yesterday,
I thought that since swimming is the best way to lose weight, why don't
i start now! Although it wasn't easy to coax myself to have enough
willpower to change into my swimsuit and to walk all the way to the
pool, I managed to do it!
Boy, was it hard or what. I took the
elevator down, walked fifteen steps to the poolside, took ten minutes
to find a dry spot to put my stuff and another ten minutes to persuade
myself to just jump in. Argh, i hate cold water.
Reasons why I should stop swimming once and for all:
1.
I hate to swim when people are watching. Okay look at my flat boobs or
jiggling tummy all you want, that I wouldn't be so embarrassed. But
stop staring at my every move will you! You damn pervert. Somemore use
goggles to ogle!
2. Everytime I try to fit into my swimsuit,
it somehow just doesn't fit anymore. Other than that, I simply just
look fatter than I did in this same suit few months/years ago. Err, I
think I did read somewhere that swimsuits shrink after some time.
Riiiight? Of course I'm right.
self denial kao kao.
3. As of
today, I've had at least 36 random objects thrown onto my head/body. I
often wake up 20 minutes later to find myself outside the pool, naked
with kids pointing and laughing at me.
Ok maybe not the last part
but yes, I do find myself being the victim of children's game. Like
'hey let's play see who can hit that girl with big tummy on the head!'
kinda game. It doesn't help that I like kids so I'll usually smile and
say it's okay kids, hit me all you want. I'll even throw in a prize for
those who succeed.
4. How come noone understands the fact that
when someone stops exercising for an awfully long time, she usually
will not regain her utmost potential in the span of 1 minute? I mean
obviously I won't swim like 356 laps after retiring for so long right!
How come when I came up 20 minutes later announcing that I'm done for
the day then everyone point and laugh at me! =(
Even my grandma/uncle/aunty/long lost cousins call me from the other end of the world to ask if I really did swim only 5 laps.
err,
and for the record, I did NOT swim only 5 laps ok. I swam TEN laps. And
it's okay, it's a common mistake to think 10 laps is an easy feat.
Let me show you how one lap is counted.
oklah last time I thought that's 2 laps ok.
5.
God knows what's the content of the water in the pool. I don't mind
urine that much cause when I was young, I used to treat the pool as my
toilet bowl too. But but other than that, it's just plain disgusting. I
know the myth of getting pregnant cause of some random sperm is busted
but the thought of people actually ejaculating in pools! omg. enough to
haunt me for the rest of my life and the life after that.
And conversation overheard today (on purpose):
Kid1 jumps into the pool after going to the toilet.
Kid1: Ah! finally shit edi!
kid2: how was the shit?
kid1: very big lah! came out so fast.
kid2: oh no wonder just now u can't hold it in and came out abit la!
OMG.
No wonder lah! and I thought that black little pile of something was a
stone! That was the last straw. I finally compiled enough excuses to
get outta the pool.
--
I know everyone has had enough
of my adventures (ok so fine, boring adventures that weren't really
that adventurous at all) in the bus but today! I met another funny
person while waiting for the bus.
There was this old, 70-ish
year old lady waiting for bus. She asked me for direction and since I'm
such a kind soul at heart who secretly loves to dig her nose which
isn't so secretive anymore, I gave her the direction. I have nothing
against old folks, in fact, I even like them cause they look so frail
and weak. But if there's one thing i hate about them, it's their
ability to ignore whatever you just said and reply as if you didn't say
anything.
If your brain is too slow in digesting what I just said, let me give you an example.
Kind hearted me who secretly loves digging her nose: You have to take this bus, and then change bus blabla.
Old woman: I always take the other bus! And it always goes to Summit.
Me: No no! They changed the route ages ago. It doesn't go there anymore.
old woman: I always take the other bus! And it always goes to Summit!
Me: err, no I've been taking that bus for the past few months. It does NOT go there.
old woman: I always take the other bus! And it always goes to Summit!
dot dot dot.
I
think she was partially deaf, that's why. I'm not cursing her la ok but
why didn't she just listen! Then why did she ask for the direction in
the first place!
Okay that wasn't that bad. What was worse was there was this car waiting to pick someone up near the bus stop.
That
said old woman knocked on the window and asked if she can hitch a ride.
I think the woman in car said no cause she wasn't gonna use that road.
When her daughter came and opened the door, that old woman just barged
in, sat down and closed the door wtf!
Where got people so rude one! After 10 minutes of negotiating, that old woman was kicked out.
Don't know if I should sympathize her or not. Later, she continued talking to me but I found a neat trick
while talking to people like this. Mmm, yeah. mmm, ok. mmm, i'm so
sexy. And she'd go on talking and talking without realizing what i just
said. And somemore she spoke to me in Mandarin. Halo? I'm a banana
(PARTIALLY, I CAN UNDERSTAND OK) how to answer you.
I hope I don't grow old to be like that. Bah.
--
blabla download that thing blabla ok continue to pretend this does not exist blaa.
Posted at 6:39:37 pm by expectation
Permalink
Hello I'm here to tell you one sad story of a girl who takes pride in knowing that she once had two visible pecs. Keyword's once.
I tell you, the hardest thing to do is when you stop exercising for a pretty long time (>4 months), it's goddamn hard to catch back up with your faltering body. Cause I wanna impress the boyfriend with my nice abs (oklah two pecs also better than these multi-layered suets ok) ((and yes if u do want to know, SUETS are FATS)) (((oh the ironyyyy!)))
((((su‧et /ˈsu ɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[soo-it] –noun. the hard fatty tissue about the loins and kidneys of beef, sheep, etc., used in cooking or processed to yield tallow.))))
How freaking weird is my name! LOINS OMG. >.>
Mummy ah mummy, Ya Allah why you name me after such a disgusting thing. Why people wanna cook me for!
okay or we could all forget this unimportant piece of information and take note that SUET does mean SNOW in chinese, which is a very nice name ok. Cause i'm as pretty as snow wtf. *flutter eyelashes
omg. Got scare you or not?
Nah here another one: 
okayyyy so let's go one big u-turn and back to my said topic!
SO, as i said, I wanted to impress the boyfriend lah cause he's working out to impress me also (after 2 years still want to play impress impress kah!)
And I have been doing....sit ups!
Yes you heard me right! Sit ups yo! (been playing basketball once a week too but that doesn't count)
The first day, I couldn't even sit 10 degrees up. But anyway, with enough determination and willpower, anyone can turn from zero to hero! let the impossible be possible! wtf as if damn big achievement. okay so i did a grand total OF TEN SIT UPS OK!
wah damn proud. I did ten times for normal sit up and eight times for the side thingy one. Err no not 8 times one side, 8/2 means 4 times one side only wtf now I count it this way it makes me seem so pathetic la =(((
But let's not belittle me here ok. >=(
So! after that one miserable attempt, my whole stomach muscle hurt the next day but I swear I saw a tiny hint of pecs somewhere ok.
Since I'm such a strong, determined person who never gives up, I did again and again! THREE days already ok!
And and yesterday I decided to increase the number of situps byyyyy...jeng jeng jeng..TWO times.
WAh clap clap.
How did I do it, you wonder? Cause I'm wonder woman ma so easy jior.
So anyway, the wise boyfriend said I must stretch before and after the sit ups to avoid overworking my muscles (laugh lah laugh, how can this pathetic exercise strain my muscles right!)
But i forgot to stretch cause once I'm done with the last painful sit up (i usually pretend to forget doing the last one so technically yalah I cheated), I'll quickly stand back up, wipe my hands and say "hip hip hooray tomorrow sure got muscles edi!!!"
But how come after THREE days still got no two pecs!
I'm giving up la.
--
Yesterday was fun cause instead of going mamaking, we went to Esther's new empty house to play card games and Truth or Dare instead.
Damn fun ok. Last time I used to loooove Truth or Dare cause I want them to dare me to kiss my crush! Since i so fat you know la everyone sure run away from me one.
If you want to know, i never did kiss my crush(es). So sad, even if people dared me to, the said guys will quickly take the bottle and turn it quick to avoid being kissed by this fat ugly duckling here.
Haih, begitulah kepedihan hidup seorang anak dara gemuk. Lazy to translate.
 As you can see, I quite blatantly stole this from Clem's blog without asking for permission hoho.
That's Esther reading out some "are u ready for sex?" thingy from some magazine. As you can also see, I was sooo interested that my legs look so long and fair wtf. (i'm the one with the back facing the camera la! can't tell meh! not the orange one at the far left ok hahaha)
I gotta go to some mom's uncle's son's house for some wedding dinner ok so byeee late already lah!
p.s: eh 4 more days! faster download that celcom thingy before the ad ends! very fast and easy peasy only.
m(-_-)m
kowtow. (curi-ed from Hsin)
Posted at 3:57:09 pm by expectation
Permalink
|
width="800" height="490"> 
