Geez, I only MIA-ed for two days and so many things happened to my friends already. Sorry Tze, should've read that and called you to ask what happened. Sorry Jmeei, my condolences to you and your family.

Was working the past two days as. well. as someone-who-sits-and-does-nothing. Quite literally, really. My job was to man a booth in an undisclosed very public location and just DO NOTHING and of course, get paid. We were supposed to wait for people to come and redeem gifts but in two days, only 3 came. So most of the time (if not all), my job was to just sit there and stone like crazy.

I'm not kidding you, like crazy kao kao super thick stoning. On the second day, I got smarter and brought a book along. At the end of the day, I finished the whole book I was reading and stoned some more. God, why is life so easy wtf. Sometimes, I really do wish I have something to do instead! Not doing anything and staring into space for more than 6 hours were unbelievable! After 5 hours of staring into space on that first day, I thought my eyes would pop out. So I napped for a bit hoho.

Sigh don't ask me how I get such good jobs lah. I already posted up whatever information of jobs I could lay my hands on, the rest is up to you. In this freelance world, you just have to work and get some contacts and they'll call you for jobs. This stoning job was so last minute that they called me the night before to work.

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Let me think if there's anything interesting that happened lately. hmm. Went to do Tze's visa with Tze and Aud. Went Nottingham Semenyih to clear Tze's room and to meet her lecturers with nice accent. Sang to Britney Spears (our idol *big wet eyes), Backstreet Boys, Air Supply, Spice Girls, M2M and Westlife in the car. Went Nuffnang's screening on Thursday (Pirates of Carribean 3 was disappointing =( and that guy behind us laughed at every single effing scene. so damn annoying okay)

Okay if you wanna know, I for one, do not show my emotions in the cinema. When something funny happens, unless if it's REALLY SUPER DUPER FUNNY, I don't laugh. No not at all, not even a chuckle or a grin. Serious you can ask my boyfriend. Even though I feel it's funny, I still won't laugh out loud. I don't know why! Even when I'm watching tv shows at home or whatever, I still won't laugh out loud. Why am I so cold?!

And second, I hate it when people laugh too much in the cinema. Damn annoying okay keep it to yourself can anot?? Especially when it isn't really funny in the first place. Like when someone drops a spoon, HAHAHA, when someone falls down, HAHAHAHAH LOL, when someone says I'm gay, HAHAHAHAH OMG LOL ROFL LMAO, cis bedebah.

Maybe that's why I hate watching chick flicks in cinemas. 1.) waste of money 2.) might encounter people like this

And then these people right, when it comes to truly funny scenes where someone makes sarcastic/witty jokes, they don't get it and not laugh. So damn awkward for me to laugh right! And when I do laugh, they will ask me to keep it down one!!!!1 give you one tight slap only you know, some more I laugh damn softly unlike you.

So back to what I did these few days. Yeah met Jolene <3 and Alberto <3 and Su Ann <3 and Yee Hou <3 and Tim <3. Didn't really see other bloggers cause I went in late and came out early.

Had farewell party for Tze on Friday night (she's leaving to UK next month) and was supposed to sleepover at her place but didn't cause I had to attend my Mandarin class the next morning.

But guess what.

True to my style, I woke up to my alarm and debated with myself to go or not to go for my class. And obviously no need to say lah, it wasn't even a fight at all since the part in me who was rooting for me to go was practically non existent wtf. So I decided to skip my Mandarin class and sleep for another 2 hours before my work.

And mcb someone was really punishing me from somewhere cause I couldn't fall asleep and the harder I tried, the more I got more and more awake! And by the time I realized that I really couldn't sleep back, it was too late to go for yi er san si wu ˆê"ñŽOŽlŒÜ wtf lookie I'm so good wtf. (eh i wrote one two three four five in chinese why aren't they showing! why got some weird characters instead T.T)

Sigh so that's all that happened to me the last few days. Woot woot I'm so excited, am downloading this program that enables me to type in Chinese! After this, all my blog entries will be in Chinese ok?! (like I can type more than 50 words in Chinese =.=)

Only 4 wtfs in this post. What an improvement hoho.

Oh and MHC finally sent me my summer book! The book which I have to read this summer is Field Notes from a Catastrophe by Elizabeth Kolbert. Some book about global warming, environment and politics. Hoohum, this will be my first environment/politics book. It should be quite a challenge.

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I was just looking at all my old CDs for things to transfer into my new laptop and geez.look at all this.

I almost forgot how it feels to train under the hot sun

Almost forgot how it feels to get burnt

But I'll never forget how it feels when you take big gulps of 100 plus after a good game

or how the ball feels when it fits right into the curve of your palm

shit i feel like crying

or how it feels to slide a ball in so easily

no i'm serious, i do feel like crying.

or how it feels when you're the only girl in the categori lelaki wtf and my team won 2nd place at that

or how it feels to make someone injured his knee so badly that even after 3 years, he still has to wear the knee thingy (notice how I immediately walk away from the crime scene to appear less suspicious wtf)

god basketball, how i miss you so.

T__________________T

I don't understand why the only thing I was so very passionate about has no importance in my life whatsoever now. I don't get how all that burning flame of desire to own this game is now completely gone. I just don't get it. Maybe it's because this is not a one man game. Without my teammates, whatever passion or desire I once had for this is now all gone.

And I would do anything, just about any damned thing in the world, to have all of that back.

A week after the boyfriend got back, we got into a huge fight. I guess it was not really about us, but that we needed a little more time to adjust ourselves to each other again. And I know lots of people envy us for being together for so long and many thought we don't argue at all. Well we do actually but most of the time it's more like me getting mad at him and he'll immediately give in.

So this time around, he kinda gave up a little (sigh it was kinda expected really. which guy will go around admitting he's wrong all the time for more than 3 years?) (oklah fine 2 years and 5 months and 12 days wtf) and I was obviously very upset. It almost felt as if he gave up on me and on this relationship altogether.

But thankfully he didn't and we patched up a while ago. It was a really ugly feeling, to not know whether someone you love and care so much will give up on you or not. The whole gripping the edges of the chair, biting your nails, chattering your teeth, blowing your nose, wiping your tears and mucus on your shirt.

boy that sucks.

But, we made up! And that was of course the best feeling in the world! =D

I love you. Yeah, eventhough you made me cry so much last week that my blue shirt got so stiff from all that mucus >.>

(eh this pic where got look like porn wtf. See got light there like halo, damn pure ok!)

Self timer with handphone! Ah I'm so loving it, this whole handphone with camera thingy. It's like when you really really need a camera and you don't have one, tada!

A moment later, a police car past by wtf but didn't stop to ask us what we were doing lah. If they did, I'll reply with "I'm camwhoring!" proudly. Or err, saya tengah mempelacurkan diri kepada kamera wtf.

We camwhores are so creative! *proud

Mattho: sheesh, camwhore. Car reflection also can take picture!

Sheesh talk so much then why you faster run inside the picture also! wtf

Last day for Volvo. Damn hot and tiring but nevermind! Got $$$!

I like MU wtf. Boyfriend very annoyed at me, asked me whether his shirt nice or not then I tak layan.

Fucking camwhore. Wah I look damn tall like 5'6!  

But I just measured, I'm an inch shorter than Tze. She is 5'2 so I'm? Shaddap T______________T I've always thought I'm 5'2 okay please don't burst my bubble. I AM 5'2  *in denial

Height isn't everything *in denial again wtf

Hmm all this pictures are taken with my phone camera, 1.3 mp. Not bad eh!

Oh I'm not done mempelacurkan diri yet wtf.

My hair damn nice *big watery eyes. I did it at A Cut Above for free! For some photoshoot at MPH where I met Reggie Lee and Ujang and Reggie saw me drove my car up the curb after that *shy

I think I will never in a million years achieve such curls myself.

--

okay I'm trying to cut down on WTFs from now onwards. I don't wanna go US and say wtf to everyone wtf. Later they think I'm very rude >.>

sigh this is gonna be hard.

.

.

wtf.

One of the many reasons why I like Murakami books is because in a strange way, I feel a sense of familiarity with his characters. Considering that his characters are always potrayed as eccentric at times, slightly aloof and detached from the world, it is rather hard for me to believe that I actually feel like I feel too.

His characters are usually men in their mid thirties whose lives are set in a dark facade. They usually live very simple lives that belie their true feelings because in actual fact, they all feel detached from society and the world. They always feel like there is a void inside them, a void that is hard to fathom as to why or how it got there.

My life seems almost perfect (just add like 6 inches to my height and if I'm 6 times richer, I think it'd be perfect). I have the greatest family, the greatest friends, the greatest boyfriend and the greatest luck at times. But like Murakami's characters, I sometimes feel an unexplainable void inside of me. Have you ever felt this way? Like long ago, you made a fatal decision to wrap up something deep inside you and threw it away? Everyday you are just longing to get that something back and everyday some person would walk past with that something that you threw away but try as you might, you just can't seem to get it back? and that haunts and taunts you like crazy, so crazy that your life seems not worth living anymore.

Have you felt like at one point of your life, you threw something great away and all this while, you live with that great void inside you? Something that needs to be there to fill in the gap, something like a last piece of a puzzle that has to be there in order to make it a complete picture. And everyday, the void gets bigger like a great black hole sucking everything inside and eventually sucks the life out of you.

Heck that doesn't make sense at all no matter how many times I reread it. But I guess lots of things don't make sense too right? Things don't have to make sense to make you feel the way you feel.

So in a peculiar kinda way, when I read his books, I feel like he manages to convey what I've been feeling. If you have read his books, you'll know what I mean. It just seems so so weird that I feel connected to his characters because it's so unlike me. It's so wtf. It just doesn't make a hell lot of sense at all.

But sometimes, the more some things don't make sense, the more they make a hella lot more sense to me.

(and you know how sometimes when you say a word a lot of times, you tend to get confused by the true meaning of the word? Well yeah my current confused word is sense)

--

From my many views of life, I think I can be considered to be rather naive. From the way I look at things sometimes, from how I feel about people, from things I say, my friends would usually tell me to god, just stop being naive and open up your eyes a little can you?

But I can't, not because I can't, but because I don't want to. I guess I'm naive because I've decided to feel that way and it's not easy to just grow up when people want you to. Maybe it has to do with the way I was brought up or where I was brought up.

For the first years of my life, I lived in a place which I thought was heaven. In that very small town, everyone knew everyone. People greeted people where ever they went and everyone genuinely cared about you. I guess that kinda rubbed off on me and sucked me into a false sense of security; that people really are kind inside.

In my small town, we hardly had any technology. Our only entertainment was our family and friends. I don't ever remember feeling like I had a grudge towards anyone at all. It was like you know, the town in The Stepford Wives. 

After moving to the rowdier side of the country, I felt like I was cheated for the price I had to pay. I gave up all the people I loved in that town and here I was, in a dump where everyone just seemed to hate everyone. In this place, everyone cared about money more than anything. I was only 10 then but I remember hating this place and I remember calling my friends back in my hometown, telling them that don't worry, I'll be back soon.

When we just moved here, my sister was invited to a party by her schoolmate. I remember how happy all of us were for being accepted into this new place. My mother prepped my sister in her new dress, combed her hair nicely and brought her to the place where the intended party was. When we reached there, we found out that it was an empty house and there never was a party.

The next day in school, my sister's schoolmates laughed at her for believing that there was a party even. She came home crying and I felt my hatred for this place grow to a greater extent. I couldn't believe that I actually used to think that everyone was really kind. And to think that a bunch of nasty 9-year-olds made me think that way.

I never moved back to my hometown. I know from what happened, I should be more of a cynic instead but I guess some part of me still hopes that people are truly kind and nice inside.

Uhh, i don't know where am I getting so here ends this post.

--

huhu look at this!

For the record, I sweat a lot one ok. But not too much until like damn weird, but considerably okay. As in I sweat like a normal person. And no I don't know how to never sweat again. Don't stay in Msia lah wtf. sweat =.=''

Sigh so saddd. Last few days, Barry found out the secret spot in my room where I can steal my neighbour's wifi! We were always stealing her wireless and chatted with each other on our laptops, eventhough we were merely 2cm away. Hello baby what are you doing, I'm doing nothing, Don't lie why aren't you replying my messages! I can see you looking at Skysport, Uhh baby i love you.

But! But! My neighbour somehow knew someone was stealing her wifi, so she enabled password T______T So saddd no more going online in my room, in front of the tv and while eating! Now I have to stick to the place where my modem is. no fun =(

If you are an avid reader of my blog, or any of the member of The Club's blog, you'd know that we shamelessly formed a club called TheClub wtf. So what do we do? How and when did we come up with this brilliant idea? And who exactly are we? Jeng jeng jeng wtf

As we all know, Audrey and I had a longstanding feud and we somehow became best friend after series of unfortunate events. As for Tze, we urm. uhh. had mutual friends. uhh. okay fine in actual fact we read each others' blogs. There you have it! our biggest secret of The Club's formation is out.

So we sorta liked each other and although we practically have nothing in common at all and our styles differ like crazy, we still clicked incredibly well enough to form a club. Hmm I don't remember who came up with this childish idea (I think it's tze cause she always says we girls need to feel like we belong wtf)

Lately, we recruited another member (Jiameei) and now we're notoriously known as the fearless foursome wtf. Our mission is to be pretty always and the objectives of this club are to err, stay pretty everytime or else that person will get kicked out and we'll recruit a new member and also to always remember to say wtf. wtf.

Aiya talk so much no one will read also so here is the moment we've all been waiting for wtf

First club meeting at KimGary the day after Odori came home. See I told you our styles are so damned different! We have Tze the classy dresser, the Sei Ah Lian and the serious me wtf. Nolah I had to work that's why I was wearing a shirt okay T___T usually I dress damn slutty one wtf. oops that's Jiameei haha.

Woah why is this picture so big! Anyway this, ladies and gents, is 3/4 of TheClub! We went clubbing in Maison last Thursday, which is also my first clubbing experience *big shiny eyes. (btw Aud looks like she's gonna cry anytime soon)

I didn't quite like the loud music and being sandwiched but they all say it's part of the experience worrrr. Huhu and also, my eyes were closed most of the time cause the smoke irritated my eyes and my eyes felt like they were bleeding! Are there any clubs out there that aren't so packed and where people don't smoke inside??

Tze and I at Darus after clubbing. Wah I suddenly felt like I'm conforming to the norm by posting pictures of myself in happening places haha. I don't mean Darus lah I meant Maison.

With our temporary member of the night, Lilin wtf. otherwise known as candle wtf geddit geddit??

3/4 of TheClub again.

Finally! A picture of our new member, Jiameei! She looks so damned good here, right!

Third club meeting at MyHome in Hartamas! zomg aren't we cool wtf.

Tze and I again. We were both wearing off shoulder tops! Why are we such sluts wtf. God look at my rambut yang sungguh tidak terurus! How to make the bottom of your hair listens to you more ah?

That's all for our current activities. As a dutiful secretary, I shall write my next report on recent activities as prompt as possible. (yes i was forced to be the secretary while aud and tze are still fighting for the president's position but i think they've peacefully settled on becoming co-presidents while Jmeei the new member is bullied into becoming the kuli wtf)

And please don't comment on who's your favourite club member okay we are all equally your favourites right? hahah i don't know why but I really can't imagine a guy reading all of this!

psst, nice to meet you, cass! I really don't know how you managed to spot me in that huge crowd.

p.s: new job! "Looking for O2 and Dopod promoters, every fri-sun, Subang Parade, basic RM100+commission. 11am-9pm, call Alvin at 0166666038"

I think guys can apply too and I think the commission should be rather good.

--

Yoohoo I have a job for you people who need jobs!

"Drama RTM wants a Chinese to act as mangsa rogol in July (casting). high pay for 1 scene at Perak. Age 20-30, interested call jeffrey 0122698646"

HAHAHAHHAHAHA DID YOU SEE THAT DID YOU DID YOU MANGSA ROGOL WTF. What makes him think I can act as a mangsa rogol (rape victim)!!! And why damn racist one must be chinese! And why must go all the way to Perak one! hahahaha.

okay so if anyone is interested, please tell me first before you call Jeff. He'll kill me for publishing this but it's tooo funny not to! I would so go for the casting if it's not in Perak and if I can scream >.> If you know me in real life, you should know that my voice is a little rough and I can't scream for nuts. I don't know why but I just can't! Whenever I tried to, my voice just go blank. like. nothing comes out!

I've always wondered whatever will happen to me if I get raped someday. I can't scream and the rapist will think I'm enjoying it and he'll rape me harder =(

That's probably the saddest thing that will ever happen to me. To get raped and not be able to scream for help because I can't.

--

Boyfriend bought some gifts for me from the states!

A super cool speaker for my Ipod <3

Ipod case for my scratched Ipod.

Slippers wtf

Other pictures left stagnant in camera:

Camwhoring in the Bazmobile again.

Oh! My new belt from shopaholicsunited! I took ages to decide on this so please say it's nice ok!

In the airport waiting for a certain someone. The airport is like my second home now! I go there so often until I'm so sick of it. Dad's working in Dubai for over 2 years already so I go there every 3/4 months.

A certain someone flapping her arms.

Odori chan! and all her rubbish wtf

--

Okay I was working last weekend with Volvo (volvo is the best car ever i can't emphasize more on this please buy volvo cars wtf) and I saw this realllllly reallyyyyyyy cute guy driving an SLK. He was dropping another ultra cute friend off so he was waiting in his car.

I approached him, did my thing (give out the free Volvo gift lah) and noticed that he was wearing a Burberry shirt, Gucci belt, Armani jeans and he has an LV wallet! zomg don't ask me how I noticed so many things in 0.02 seconds. And he was soooo drop dead handsome ok!

After some time, his cute friend came back and passed him a free Starbucks sample. So the question for today is, were they gays? were they were they?? I mean they were both sooo cute and everyone knows cute guys are either taken or gays! And why would his friend bring him a Starbucks sample? I mean if you're a guy and you're straight, would you take a sample, drink half of it with the intention of saving half for your friend in the car?

Mattho said he would. I'm kinda worried that he might not be so straight after all.

Okay I don't know lah I'm not a guy but will you?

Oh another incident! There was this rather cute guy dropping his girlfriend off in his bimmer (BMW) and he was posing outside his car, awaiting the grand highness' return. And he was seriously posing kao kao okay, flipping his long hair, hands in pockets, slowly turning his head, body leaning on car. I have to admit that he was kinda cute so I was looking at him and I guess he knew i was watching so he posed even more!

Then when his girlfriend returned, he didn't even bother opening the door for her! He just walked (very slowly, still flipping hair) to his side and glanced at me! wtf fuck off lah i hate posers ok somemore so not gentleman didn't open door for gf!

--

Sheesh! The Club pictures later when I get hold of them okay!

And we're going clubbing this Thursday. My first clubbing experience

I chup I wanna be the person who takes care of the bags okay! wtf cause I dunno how to dance =( and I don't like to touch sweaty bodies =(

P.S: Thanks for voting in the previous post! I didn't know so many sausages read my blog since I can be quite sexist at times. Kinda flattered hoho. And I didn't know I have so many 'undecided/OR' readers. uhh.